Tag Archive for autumn blues

The Autumn Blues: GroupGrok and Other Mistresses

I’m currently experiencing Silver Medalist Syndrome. I just receive a wonderfully complimentary personal rejection from the Missouri Review.  Lots of lovely words were followed by the word “no.” A year ago I would have been thrilled, now it makes me head for the hot cocoa. Over the last few months, along with the slew of form rejections, I’ve received a handful of “almosts” and an acceptance of an old flash piece to a magazine whose Fall 2011 issue seems just a little overdue.

Why haven’t I been blogging? I’m sure that’s the question early mornings at the Kuerig coffee machine. A list of important things I’ve been doing instead.

  • Utilizing our new Netflix streaming to watch Dr. Who until eleven at night (after tucking the kids into bed).
  • Obsessively playing with noise levels and sibilance issues on my soon-to-be-launched Small Beer Press podcasts.
  • Working and reworking GroupGrok.com for its launch next month.  Yes, this new site is one bitch of a mistress.  Mostly because I haven’t done web work in years and it’s, well, “changed” in the intervening years.  Plus it doesn’t help that it’s a shoestring and bubblegum endeavor.  What the hell is with this browser-based editing?  I want my pro tools back.I’m going to be blogging with four writing friends.  I am amazingly thrilled that all of them want to do this.  So of course it makes all the sense in the world to spend my time on a project that has no school, work or internship related deadline.
  • The final time suck? Thinking about work stuff.  You know, my actual day job.  It’s been feeling decidedly neglected and is demanding its full share and some until I once again prove my love.
Daily writing just doesn’t stand a chance at the moment and I really resent it. I love my family and I chose my family, but the thing about families (if you love them) is that you can’t ignore their needs just because everyone else is breathing down your neck.  I need my little cadre.  I even enjoy their company.  They make me inordinately happy. In return, they need my time.  So it goes.

Avoidance and obsession.  My writing is lagging and I can’t help but wonder if the reason that I’m adding yet another spinning plate with the whole GroupGrok.com thing is that my mental space is already overrun. Actual creative work is nothing but a visit to the Head Bangers’ Ball, so why not increase the noise?   Until the floodgates finally have the space to open at least I can do something constructive in the the writing “arena.”

GroupGrok.com and the Small Beer Press podcasts are going to be amazing. Really and truly.  I feel so lucky to be involved with both projects, but the caterpillar babies, the Rampant and that parade of skeletons also need my attention.  The dead, despite what everyone thinks, don’t have all the time in the world.  Their stories move forward just like those here on earth. My one and only job is to listen.